I once was as lost as can be, but God (through the faith and true love of my wife) created a miracle for all to see.
The following was taken from my wife Laura's blog:
Monday, January 29, 2007
What did God do??
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. Ps. 34:1
There is NO doubt in my mind that God had and has His hand on my marriage. That when I was 'done' God had only begun. That when my faith lacked.. He was faithful. I think about my life 4 months ago. And I think..Gosh.. I was not in a nut house?? How did I live thru all that?
And then I look at my journals. The pleads.. The pain. The cries.I believed that God had a plan. That it would be revealed. That if I just hold on a little longer it would be OK.AND... it was.More than ok.He HEALED :MY heart.MY soul.MY everything. He took me and took things away. Melted it away. I did not have 'things' to lean on. Things like friends, stuff, duties, agendas.... Slowly He took them.. molded me.. bent me in ways I did not think I could bare. It hurt. It took more time than I wanted. But now. My joy is REAL joy. Not just joy for life or breath. But joyful thanksgiving for healing.And my husband? He is wonderful. He is not that man I married. The one I have been with for 14 years. He is changed. Different. What did God do??? He answered that prayer I prayed when I was 16. .. "God give me a Godly man. Someone to lead and walk with. The one YOU want me to be with." It took a few years for an answer. But thanks be to God that it is HIS time not mine.And thanks to my precious friend for praying that God's will be done in this marriage. In the last week. My faith has exploded. I don't understand or know why. But I feel like I could move a mountain from its anchor. It is a crazy feeling. Crazy and wonderful.In Christ Alone I will Glory! And He will take care of me.. And my heart. The rest is just ... cherries. MMM. And maybe some dark chocolate syrup.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
This I Must Never Forget!
The following is taken from my wife Laura's blog archive:
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Well...Enough of this BS.
Isn't it funny how God tells you to be patient. And you don't want to?!? I use to think of myself as a patient person. But lately..Not so much.If you are an angry person....Don't read my blog entry for today... it is upsetting.......I have been battling with the decision to divorce my spouse for months. And in that time of questioning I have questioned my faith.Wondering if I was to blame.Wondering if I was making the right choices.Wondering if God was listening to meWondering if He would hear me.If I had done something to keep me from hearing HIM.Guilt. Pain. Anger.Did I make God angry.. And I have been a Christian since I was 16. So I have been a believing, trusting, and knowing Christian for years.Firm and steady.And all this between he and I. Between Pastors. Has been terrible. I felt the 'church' had totally shunned me. Had no interested in helping me. BC well.. I was to blame. I had been wrong.And more and more. I asked WHY, HOW.. show me how I was Wrong.I don't mind being told I am wrong. It does not bother me.I expect to be told and shown how. I don't just take accusations.. WELL not anymore.SO I have been living with the guilt of the dreaded D. Thinking maybe I was being unreasonable.And then I get a call... Something I had a feeling about. But NO'proof'.....People have been seeing "HIM".. out.. with OTHER..WOMANI knew this already. Gut feelings..God had defineatly prepared me for this BC I was not surprised. JUST CONFIRMATION.So last night.. I confront him last night. He came over to discuss more counseling.. How he will be perfect. Take care of me and the kids. Be the loving, honest, caring husband I always wanted, needed and deserved.Then I asked him.. Why did I get a phone call then about him being out with another woman. How he could sit there and say he wanted to work on the marriage, would not give up, would fight me every step. And still be messing around. He says "you threw me away, you told me you hated me'. I just stared at him. I told him that if he meant what he said about changing, fighting for me. He would not be acting in such a way. Then, of course, the you cheated came up.. So I told him. That I did not cheat. I did not consider discussing marriage and christianity with another believer cheating. I almost lost it. He says to me "I believe you. I finally believe you. When you say you didn't cheat" WTF!!!!! So he believes me .... He is hanging on, kissing on, screwing with other woman.. Although he denies 'sex'. I am NO idiot! He has been out with HER.. Drove His LOVER to 'show her our house' Friday. My brothers were out front..they were watching the kids. I told him "Hell bring her right over she can start redecorating".. He says.. she is just a friend. we went to Candy's (the wife of his brother) bachelorette party... .He took her dancing.I didn't cry. But I almost did then. He NEVER took me dancing. .It is one of my favorite things to do.. NEVER did he take me. He wants to sit down with Rick and talk.. we can work it all out. I told him.. I was done.. and if there was any more doubt he just took care of it. I asked him to leave and that I would make the appointment with the lawyer.. And he WOULD NOT fight me . NOT ONCE . Why is it ok for him to be with someone else??? WHY is that ok?? I don't understand.AND I was subject to Church corrective action???? WHY?Unfortuneatly, my tearless discussion changed when I shut the door.. I balled. not the normal cry.Big time bad. I could not hold it all in any more. I had heaving cry.. the kind you don't want anyone to see or hear you.. BUT the kids .. were still up and I had to get them to bed.. so I pushed down .. for a few more minutes.. I wanted to throw up and go to sleep. I didn't throw up.. But I did go to bed.. and fell asleep eventually.God Help Him.Because NO ONE on this earth can.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Well...Enough of this BS.
Isn't it funny how God tells you to be patient. And you don't want to?!? I use to think of myself as a patient person. But lately..Not so much.If you are an angry person....Don't read my blog entry for today... it is upsetting.......I have been battling with the decision to divorce my spouse for months. And in that time of questioning I have questioned my faith.Wondering if I was to blame.Wondering if I was making the right choices.Wondering if God was listening to meWondering if He would hear me.If I had done something to keep me from hearing HIM.Guilt. Pain. Anger.Did I make God angry.. And I have been a Christian since I was 16. So I have been a believing, trusting, and knowing Christian for years.Firm and steady.And all this between he and I. Between Pastors. Has been terrible. I felt the 'church' had totally shunned me. Had no interested in helping me. BC well.. I was to blame. I had been wrong.And more and more. I asked WHY, HOW.. show me how I was Wrong.I don't mind being told I am wrong. It does not bother me.I expect to be told and shown how. I don't just take accusations.. WELL not anymore.SO I have been living with the guilt of the dreaded D. Thinking maybe I was being unreasonable.And then I get a call... Something I had a feeling about. But NO'proof'.....People have been seeing "HIM".. out.. with OTHER..WOMANI knew this already. Gut feelings..God had defineatly prepared me for this BC I was not surprised. JUST CONFIRMATION.So last night.. I confront him last night. He came over to discuss more counseling.. How he will be perfect. Take care of me and the kids. Be the loving, honest, caring husband I always wanted, needed and deserved.Then I asked him.. Why did I get a phone call then about him being out with another woman. How he could sit there and say he wanted to work on the marriage, would not give up, would fight me every step. And still be messing around. He says "you threw me away, you told me you hated me'. I just stared at him. I told him that if he meant what he said about changing, fighting for me. He would not be acting in such a way. Then, of course, the you cheated came up.. So I told him. That I did not cheat. I did not consider discussing marriage and christianity with another believer cheating. I almost lost it. He says to me "I believe you. I finally believe you. When you say you didn't cheat" WTF!!!!! So he believes me .... He is hanging on, kissing on, screwing with other woman.. Although he denies 'sex'. I am NO idiot! He has been out with HER.. Drove His LOVER to 'show her our house' Friday. My brothers were out front..they were watching the kids. I told him "Hell bring her right over she can start redecorating".. He says.. she is just a friend. we went to Candy's (the wife of his brother) bachelorette party... .He took her dancing.I didn't cry. But I almost did then. He NEVER took me dancing. .It is one of my favorite things to do.. NEVER did he take me. He wants to sit down with Rick and talk.. we can work it all out. I told him.. I was done.. and if there was any more doubt he just took care of it. I asked him to leave and that I would make the appointment with the lawyer.. And he WOULD NOT fight me . NOT ONCE . Why is it ok for him to be with someone else??? WHY is that ok?? I don't understand.AND I was subject to Church corrective action???? WHY?Unfortuneatly, my tearless discussion changed when I shut the door.. I balled. not the normal cry.Big time bad. I could not hold it all in any more. I had heaving cry.. the kind you don't want anyone to see or hear you.. BUT the kids .. were still up and I had to get them to bed.. so I pushed down .. for a few more minutes.. I wanted to throw up and go to sleep. I didn't throw up.. But I did go to bed.. and fell asleep eventually.God Help Him.Because NO ONE on this earth can.
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